Want to Be Successful? Quit Being Entitled

At a recent event, my wife, who’s in the culinary and nutrition business, was asked an interesting question about the obesity crisis in America: “In an era where everyone seems to be aware of the importance of diet and fitness, why are so many people overweight and out of shape?”

“Taking care of yourself is hard work,” she said. “Eating right and exercising is hard work. And in today’s world, everyone wants everything to be easy.”

She’s right, you know. Everyone wants so many things these days, but they don’t seem willing to do the work to achieve them. And that’s an enormous chasm that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

The question is, what’s the source of that gross misconception? Why do so many people think they can accomplish anything worthwhile in life without doing the heavy lifting?

It comes down to a growing disconnect between goals and the reality of what it takes to achieve them. It’s one thing to say you want to live life on your own terms. That’s called empowerment. I think a lot of people have jumped right over empowerment and gone all the way to entitlement. That’s a whole different story.

Let me explain how this works. You have the right to set any goals you want in life and the power to achieve them, but that’s the easy part. The hard part is doing the work that’s necessary to achieve your desired outcome. Not only is that hard, it always requires that you do certain things you do not want to do.

Nothing worth achieving is ever easy. It always takes smarts, guts, hard work, and perseverance. Becoming really good at something is always hard, but that’s the only way to get anywhere in the working world. And you know what? Building a successful career or business over the long haul is even harder.  

And yet, many of you who say you want to be successful entrepreneurs are also picky about all the things you don’t think you should have to put up with to achieve that success. Well I’ve got news for you. You can’t simply avoid the things you don’t want to do for one simple reason: those are usually the things you need to do to succeed.

Look, if you want to get anywhere in life, you have to learn to face what comes your way and deal with it, especially if it’s hard and you desperately don’t want to do it.

For example, I hear a lot of you don’t like sitting through meetings. You think they’re an inefficient waste of time. But meetings are how decisions are made. They’re how the business world works. And how do you know beforehand whether a meeting is going to be a waste of time versus one where something critical gets decided? That’s right, you don’t.

You wouldn’t believe how many people hate dealing with contracts and agreements. They despise having to negotiate pricing and terms. So they avoid that stuff like the plague. You know what happens to those people? They get the short end of the stick. They do lousy business deals that cost them big-time down the road.

There are all these articles about avoiding negative people who put you down and sap your energy. Everyone should be nice and no one should have to deal with jerks. Fair enough. But don’t you see how subjective that is? Haven’t you ever disliked someone you met and changed your mind later?

Besides, some of the most brilliant entrepreneurs who built some of the greatest companies on earth have been egotistical jerks. Are you saying you wouldn’t work with them if you had the opportunity? The sooner you learn to be flexible, to adapt, to deal with all kinds of people, the better things will turn out for you.   

Lots of folks don’t like having to tell others what they don’t want to hear. They avoid giving employees direct feedback in real time. Never mind giving the boss or a customer bad news. So they put it off or sugarcoat the truth to make it easier on themselves. All that does is destroy their organization’s effectiveness.

Avoidance of things we don’t like to do is never a good idea. Never.   

Look, if you want to delude yourself into believing that your hopes, dreams, and positive thinking are powerful enough to make things happen in the real world without you having to do the heavy lifting that comes with the territory, be my guest. Enjoy your entitled life in utopia.

But here’s the thing. If you avoid healthy food and exercise, someday you’ll wake up out of shape and in poor health. Likewise, if you avoid dealing with hard things at work, you’re bound to end up poor and miserable. 

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Warren Buffett's Remarkably Simple Mantra for Success

Warren Buffett is wealthy, to the tune of $72.2 billion. To put this in perspective, only 67 of the 200 wealthiest countries listed by the United Nations generate a GDP greater than the value of his holdings.

He is also by many accounts one of the hardest-working people in business. According to his biographer, his "vaguely autistic aura" provides him with a keen ability to see and analyze numbers. And when most of us might question the validity of an undervalued company, he sees it for what it really is -- an opportunity.

Buffett is also an incredibly humble, honest and pretty funny fellow.

In 2002, I had the opportunity to hear The Oracle of Omaha speak at Georgetown University. Our small group of aspiring business leaders sat patiently hoping to hear sage investment advice or catch a hint of an upcoming acquisition. The jovial Buffett, however, lamented about his surprisingly humble rise to wealth and provided us with a few simple rules to live by.

Buffett quipping that the only difference between us young business students and him was that while we probably arrived to the venue by foot or in crappy old cars (given the costly tuition at Georgetown), he came on his cushy private jet.

That is hardly a small difference, Mr. Buffett.

He was quick to point out that we had all in fact started off poor, scared and naked. He dismissed the attributes of luck, though he acknowledged the fact that he was fortunate to have been born to supporting parents with means, or as he called it, "winning the fallopian tube lottery."

His career success and wealth, however, was not achieved through chance circumstance. Hard work, conviction and an enormous helping of common sense is what he attributes to success.

But that was not the secret.

Instead, Buffett emphasized that the true secret to success was to live a righteous life, because dishonesty, cruelty and immorality follow you throughout your career, and it is far more difficult to shed than any failure we will ever have.

He suggested that by adopting one simple mantra, all other parts of your personal and professional lives would fall into place:

Never do anything in life if you would be ashamed of seeing it printed on the front page of your hometown newspaper for your family and friends to see.

It is that simple.

There was no top-secret formula for valuing businesses or stock tips. Just be good, do right and treat others fairly.

Of course, Buffett has acquired ownership in a few small newspapers over the past years, so perhaps his goal is to control the front page content of his hometown newspaper.

Alas, I am certain his investment reasoning is far more sophisticated than that.

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3R Branding System - How To Be a Bit "Renegade" & Stand Out!

Have you ever wondered why some entrepreneurs are able to build businesses fast and get all the attention? Richard Branson is the perfect example - wouldn't you agree??

Watch this video to find out how to become a "stand out" business in your market.

3R Branding System - Be "The" Relevant Business In Your Market

Don't be that business that cannot demonstrate online how you can solve your customers
problems and pain. This video will explain what you need to do to become the "Go To" online business and beat your competition every time.

3R Branding System - How To Be a "Real" Business Online

How to present yourself as a "real" business in the online world. There can be a massive disconnect between how businesses present themselves in the offline space and the online space. Typically most businesses trip up when challenged with positioning themselves online.

Watch this video to find out how you can solve this problem - for good!

Am I Good Enough?

What is stopping YOU from Realising YOUR dream and living the life you desire?

For those who prefer to read, here is most of the scripted dialogue from the video


Picture this situation:

You're at a seminar listening to a well respected, highly motivating and expert speaker challenging you to raise the bar and take that step towards making a change in your life. A change that you recognise needs to be made. The program that they are offering is valuable, proven to work and heavily discounted at the seminar price. Remember you are an action taker just by being there, right?

You feel yourself starting to get out of your seat to go to the back of the room but before you can gain enough momentum to launch out of your seat and take the next step, you hear a voice in your head, a voice you've heard many times before, a voice you don't want to hear or pay any attention to, but it is a voice that has controlled your decision making and kept you where you are for all of your life..........

"Who do you think you are? you're not good enough to make that happen. Why do you need to be doing that anyway, you're comfortable enough, aren't you? Why take the risk?"

How many times has that little voice in your head whispered those words to you just when you have been on the brink of wanting to do something to change the direction of your current path in life?

How many times?

You've heard of this phrase right........"If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll continue to get what you've always got!"

The problem is, most people spend much of their life being comfortable and unfortunately that is the problem.

Consider this:
Being comfortable:

1. didn't enable Thomas Edison to relentlessly pursue his dream of making the electric light a reality -
    even after 10,000 failures!

2. didn't enable Henry ford to realise his dream of enabling everybody the opportunity to own a
    family car, even after many failures and bankruptcy

3. didn't enable Walt Disney to realise his dream of building a place where everybody could just be
    happy, even if for a little while. He even went against the recommendations of his own board and
    numerous bankruptcies to realise his dream

And yet, we can sometimes baulk at stepping over the line because we either fear failure or fear what other people might think of us. For what?

An opportunity to make ourselves and the world a better place. 

Here's the thing, thinking small is not only restrictive but stops you from making a difference. What you need to do is get the focus off "you" and onto others. When that happens, you will start to think big picture and that's when things will start to happen for you. Guaranteed!

Why?

Well, because when you think big picture, there is no time think about the small things that we think are problems. Funny how they seem to disappear! 

So what is holding YOU back?

What excuses do you find yourself making on a daily or weekly basis that are cheating you out of leading a life of service, helping those in your world to be better people, to be making a bigger difference for the common good?

It all starts with your mind set and if you are finding it difficult to change it, I suggest you start by doing some really simple things:

1. Meditate on a daily basis, preferably in the morning for at least 20 minutes. As part of this,
    visualise what it is that you want down to the fine detail. This will set up your day.

2. Read books and teachings by those who are already successful and making a difference in the 

    world. There are thousands of them out there. Branson, Trump, Dalai Llama, John Maxwell,

    Dr John Demartini, Darren Hardy, Bob Proctor, John Assaraf, Joe Vitale, the list goes on........

3. Make sure your daily actions have a purpose. This will keep you focussed.

So, in conclusion, the next time you are challenged to step over the line to get out of your comfort zone and take action, are you going to listen to the voice in your head, or recognise its existence, ignore it and take the step anyway. Try it, you will be amazed at how empowered it will make you feel!

Until next time - stay safe but don't necessarily play safe!

6 Ways to Work a Room

Taking an active approach to meeting people can turn any event into a productive networking opportunity. It’s also a chance to influence how others perceive you, says Susan RoAne, a San Francisco-based speaker and the author of How to Work a Room (William Morrow, 2013). Never forget that other people are listening to and observing you at all times, she says.

Here are six steps to take before, during and after a networking event to ensure you get the most out of your interactions:

1. Assess the event. Be selective about the events you attend because “you could go to a networking event every night,” says Dale Kramer Cohen, co-founder of IvyLife, an Ivy League business networking community based in New York. Choose events based on who will be there and the type of contacts you can make. If possible, obtain the list of people attending beforehand. If you can’t get the list, ask the person who invited you or recommended that you go who might be there, Kramer Cohen advises.

2. Have something to say. Read the news and think ahead about topics that will make for interesting small talk, says RoAne. And yes, you’re going to have to engage in small talk, at least initially. “The only people who demonize small talk are the ones who can’t carry a conversation,” she points out.

3. Summarize yourself. Know how you'll introduce yourself in 10 seconds or less, RoAne explains. But don’t just give your title, describe what you do, she says. “Give people context about why you’re there,” she says.

4. Scope out the room. While at the event, note where the bar and hors d’oeuvres are located, RoAne says. These are great places to strike up a conversation with a person who isn’t already talking to someone, she notes. Also, scan the crowd to see if you know anyone. If you don’t see any familiar faces, start off approaching people who are standing alone, says RoAne. Not only is it an easy way to engage someone, it’s a considerate, welcoming gesture that will be remembered, she adds.

Ben Dattner, the principal of executive coaching and organizational development firm Dattner Consulting in New York suggests talking to a mix of people in terms of age and gender.  Don’t just hunt down the most senior, well-connected person in the room; be open to talking with everyone. “The bartender could be your best connection,” Dattner points out.

5. Keep moving. If you’re at the event for an hour, try to talk to at least three people, advises Kramer Cohen. Ask open-ended questions to get the conversation started, but don’t talk with anyone for too long, she says. Gracefully exit a conversation by extending your hand, saying you enjoyed talking, and offer your business card. Then move on to another person or group, says Kramer Cohen.

6. Follow up promptly. “This is where you get the value—showing up isn’t enough,” Kramer Cohen notes. Prioritize with whom you want to follow up and don’t wait too long, she advises. Be sure to email or connect with the people you met at the event on Linkedin within a few days, she says. Jot down detailed notes about your new contacts so you can find ways to be helpful, like offering to introduce them to valuable connections, says Dattner. But you can also stay on your contacts’ radar by simply keeping in touch. For example, if you know a contact will be making an important presentation, send a note wishing him or her good luck or to ask how the presentation turned out, he suggests. Apps such as Contactually can even help you schedule reminders to touch base every few months to keep bonds strong. 

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